My time with Yachiru Kusajishi
by Zan The Dark Tenshi Knight
Summary: Misadventures involving the pink haired girl from Squad 11
1. Chapter 1

It was a sunny day that morning. Every captain was already up , however they dreaded this day would come. For today is the annual Switch Your Vice-Captain Day. All the captains were present except Byakuya due to a over night assignment.

"Alright let us see the results. Although we had to exclude 3 of the vice captains just to make thing even." Yamamoto said

All of the captains then rushed to the billboard. Everyone has a not too eager to know look about them.

"Heh...I got Nemu huh?" Kenpachi mutters.

"I have Matsumoto?! I find this unacceptable! What am I gonna do with a busty blonde bimbo. Its the Science Bureau, not the place in the human world called Hooters" Kurotsuchi shouted in protest.

"Well the whole idea of this is to learn how to work together despite being from different squads" Hitsuguya replied. Everyone was blurting out at who was picked for them. But they all soon stopped as all of them collectively looked at was picked for Byakuya Kuchiki. Kenpachi grinned wide as some chuckled.

"Oh this should be good?" one of the captains quickly said just as Byakuya came in.

"Sorry I'm late" he says calmly as he slowly walks in. Everyone smiles and softly laughs at him. "Whats so funny everyone?" Byakuya asks looking slightly confused.

At that point even Head-Captain Yamamoto couldn't help but chuckle. Then it hits Byakuya like a ton of bricks. He hangs his head knowing exactly what has happened. "I guess its my turn this year?" he says in a sigh. He turns around and walks out the door with his head down still "Lets get this over with....."

After a few minutes Byakuya reaches the Vice Captain Quarters where they were holding a meeting of their own about the draft for the day.

Renji quickly speaks as he sees Byakuya , "Sir who did you get?" Byakuya closes his eyes

"Yachiru Kusajishi your with me."

Everyone looks shocked then bursts out laughing, all except Yachiru.

"Yay!! later everyone!" She says cheerfully as she skips towards Byakuya. She faces the others and waves. Then skips behind Byakuya as he turns away and walks out of the Quarters.

"I Guess he is this year's sucker huh?" Renji said

"You got that right" Matsumoto giggles. Little did they know he heard everything, he then looked back slighty then pointed at them as he got closer to the exit.

"Hado 4 : Baku Rai." a flash of white lightning comes out and incerenates everyone in the room , leaving them charred and fried looking.

"Ohh that was pretty." Yachiru says "Do it again."

"No" Byakuya continues to walk as he walks out the building with Yachiru.

---------------a few hours later---------------

Byakuya looks annoyed as Yuchiru runs in the Seretei

"Please control yourself, we are on patrol."

"But nothins going on silly."

"That may be but we should be on guard at all times." Suddenly she disappears from his sight only to notice she is on his left shoulder

"What are you doing?!"

"Nothin, Kenny always let me do this"

"Well I'm not Kenpachi so get off!"

"BUT I"M BOORRRREEEEED!!" she wines

"Patrol isn't suppose to be fun." he replies

"Not with you anyway" she pouts with a angry face

"Too bad, now get down already!" he says looking ahead only to hear Yachiru giggling.. He looks over and see's her playing with a hell butterfly. Byakuya gets further annoyed

"Are you listening to me?"

"No! Of course not your boring." she stops laughing as the hell butterfly flies away. Byakuya gets angry then sighs and continues on patrol.

----------------- Back at Sqaud barracks---------------

Byakuya walks then suddenly feels a draft on his lower part of his body. "_Why is it cold all of a sudden?_" He looks down to notice his pants are lowered. Yuchiru is seen dashing to different spots around him.

"Where is it ?" she asks

"Did you do this?" His voice gets higher in anger

"I don't see it!"

"See what!?"

"The stick up your ass!" she places a finger near her mouth. "Renji said you act this way because it was in your butt, yet I don't see the stick" she looks up as if she is thinking.

Byakuya eye twitches fiercely as he looks down very pissed. "Just pull up my pants will you?"

"Do it yourself Stuck up, I'm thinking of where it could be."

"Why are you calling me stuck up?"

"Thats your nickname Stuck Up."

"No its Captain Kuchiki and yours should be The Pink Haired Cancer" Byakuya mutters as he pulls up his pants. Just as he do the door slides revealing female squad members.

"Hi capt...ain." they both say as they see Byakuya seemingly pulling down his pants instead of up. They blush then notice Yuchiru there in front of him. They scream and blush.

"YOU PERVERT!! showing yourself to a little girl how could you?!" one of them ask.

Byakuya blushes slightly. "Its not what you think."

"Yeah I was looking for the stick in his pants" Yachiru replies

The women get even more disgusted. "You made her look for your?...." one of them says.

"No not at all!"

"So you know where the stick is? Please show me!" Yachiru asks one of the women.

"You seduced her didn't you Captain?

Byakuya sighs. "This is just a misunderstanding, it really is thats all." He says in a sigh.

"Well if you say so but we're watching you." One of the women says as they look at him angrily. Byakuya sighs again "_What a day....."._He pulls up his pants blushing a little more after being embarrassed like that. The women walk away and snickers at him. "Some Nobleman!"

"What was that about Stuck Up?" Yachiru asks looking up at him.

"Oh nothing.....just another reason to kill you in your sleep"

Huh?"

_"_Nothing , nothing" he says shaking his head."_Thank god its almost over_"

-------------Hours later----------------

The sun is almost set and Yachiru bows towards Byakuya.

"I had funny even tho you were no fun at all"

"_I bet you did_" he thinks looking down.

"So see ya Stuck up!" Yachiru then runs off into the sunset towards Squad 11 Barracks.

"For the last damn time, its Captain Kuchiki!" Byakuya yells at her. Renji is seen coming back from his exchange.

"So Captain enjoyed your time with Vice Captain Kusajishi?"

"Lets just say disciplinary actions are needed at times during the exchange"

"What do you mean?"

"What does stick in your butt mean to you Renji"

Renji looks surprised. "Uhhh.."

"Scatter senbonzakura"

"OH SHIT!! CAPTAIN WAIT!!!!!....."


	2. Chapter 2

**(well its not as long as the first chapter, but i hope its still funny. I'm just trying out another character so please review, and tell me what you think of it.) **

"Hey Yachiru! Yachiru!" Rangiku yells, running towards her.

Yachiru looks back and smiles. "Oh hey big boobies, so whats up?"

"Nothing I just have a message for Kenpachi."Rangiku replies.

"A message for Kenny? What is the message?" Yachiru asks her, looking interested in hearing it.

"I can't do that I'm afraid, its direct orders from my captain. I'm to directly give the message to him."

"But I'm kenny's Vice Captain! Let me hear the message." She wines.

"I told you I can't do that Yachiru. It will go against orders." Rangiku sighs then looks down at her. "Can you just tell me where he is? she asks Yachiru softly.

"Not until I hear the message too." She says pouting.

Rangiku sighs again as she begins to go into her shirt to pull out something. Suddenly Yachiru's eyes get a glimmer of light into them. "The message is in there isn't it?" Yachiru shouts as she latches on Rangiku's chest and places her hands inside.

Rangiku blushes a bit hard as Yachiru hands moves inside her shirt. "What the hell are you doing?!" She asks Yachiru in a loud shout.

"Looking for that damn message, now hold still so I can find it"

"The message is not....there." Rangiku says as she blushes a bit more then suddenly giiggles and laugh slightly. "Oh no hahaha....she found ... ticklish spots!" she says as she then starts laughing. Suddenly Yachiru feels somethings and grabs it from Rangiku's chest, pulling it out of her shirt.

"I found the message." Yachiru says cheerfully as if she has claimed victory and hold it up. But then she looks to what she has and realizes she has just pulled out her strapless bra. "Is this the message you were suppose to give to him."

"No its not!" Rangiku says slight shrieking and snatching the bra from Yachiru's hands, which a big blush on her face. "The message is a oral message Yachiru and its amessage from one captain to the next so its classified" She shouts.

"OOOHHH" Yachiru says in surprise. "You should have said that earlier."

Rangiku left eye begins twitching, then she quickly turns around bending down. She quickly tries to put her bra back on. "Yachiru just tell me where he is already."

"Oh well, he was right behind you the whole time really big boobies" Yachru says giggling.

Rangiku looks up to see that Kenpachi was there holding his blade over his shoulder looking down as she put her bra back on.

"Thats quite a view View." Kenpachi says smirking.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!" Rangiku shrieks very loudly. Since that day, hell butterflies have been used to communicate to all of Squad 11.


	3. Chapter 3

Byakuya looks desperately around his room, tossing things everywhere. From old trinkets to clothes. He looks in his bathroom and shoves everything from the bathroom cabinet into the sink.

"Where are they?!" Byakuya says in a little frustration as his search comes up empty. He then begins thinking and then glares towards the right. "Rukia....." he mutters in slight anger. He then runs in the house towards Rukia's room. Once there he slides the door to the side, the vain on his head bulging.

"Rukia? Do you have...it...?" he says in anger but slowly tuns into confusion, as he see something he wasn't expecting. What he saw was Rukia making out with Renji. Byakuya has a look of anger yet confusion. Rukia and Renji quickly look to the side as they continue kissing only to see Byakuya there. They both shriek.

"Ahhhhh Captain Kuchiki, we weren't doing anything. I was just giving her CPR " Renji says quickly.

"While she is sitting up Renji? Yeah right! Now Rukia where is it?

"Brother, where is what ?" Rukia asks.

"My hair gel Rukia, thats what!" he says yelling

"I don't use hair gel, remember?" Rukia yells back

"But your a girl, of course you do?" Renji says then suddenly he gets punched by both Rukia and Byakuya.

"Stay out of this Renji!!" They both yell at the same time. "Besides you should ask Yachiru, She was here earlier for some reason." Rukia says calmly.

"Was she now? Where is she now?..."

"At the Women's Association meeting"

"Thank for the help Rukia, for this I will consider making Renji's punishment a little less severe." Byakuya says as he turns around with a highly angry face and flashsteps away.

-------A few minutes later at the Women's Association meeting entrance------

Byakuya arrives and bangs on the door quickly and non stop. "open up now!" he yells. suddenly he can hear someone coming to the door.

"Who is it?" a girl's voice says, immediately he knows who that is.

"Its Captain Byakuya now open the hell up!"

Yahciru opens the door slowly. "Oh its you Stuck Up" she says quickly.

"For the last time my name is...." and thats when he saw it, and once he did he couldn't believe it. He looks on with a very dull look upon his face. _"You have to be kidding me?...."_ he thinks to himself as he see Yachiru's current hair style. Yachiru's hair is exactly like Byakuya's but pink.

"So do you like it Stuck up? Its captain hair style appreciation."

"You stole all my hair gel didn't you?" he asks glaring.

"Well duh, how else could we get our hair this way?" she replies

"WE?!"

"Yes we!"

Byakuya rushes in and once inside he couldn't believe it. His mouth drops in disbelief, as he see every woman there with his hair style from Nemu, all the way to Unohana and Soi Fon. He then sees his entire supply of Grimmjow's Grimm-Gel on teh floor, in a pile behind Rangiku.

"You used all of it?!" Byakuya says kinda sadly.

"Well yes, we didn't know it would be so hard to copy your hair style. So we ended up making so many errors along the way." Soi Fon says smiling hangs his head, with a dark. raining cloud over him.

"Oh don't worry Stuck Up, we will repay you somehow, but on the bright side at least your hair style is very Popular." Yahciru says cheerfully and smiling.

"Just shut up, you not the one who has to pay to get more hair gel." he says in a low tone, glaring. "Now what will I use to maintain my hair style?" he asks walking away

"Oh we are really sorry" Unohana says calmly "Is there anyway we can make it up to you?" she asks Byakuya.

He stops walking for a minute and looks back smirking "Well, there is one thing...."

-------- The Next Morning-----

In Renji's room all that can be seen from him is his neck and body as he wakes up. He goes into the bathroom and wipes his face after he splashes warm water on it. He then looks into the mirror and notices he is now bald like Ikaku.

"AHHHHHHHHH WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?! " Renji screams. "WHO TEH HELL DID THIS?!! As he screams, Byakuya smiles as he goes off to buy more hair gel at the market.

"Lets see if she likes you bald Renji." Byakuya says smiling to himself .


	4. Chapter 4

It was a sunny morning when Byakuya awakened. He stretched and looked over to his side to look out teh window. "This is going to be a good day." he said smiling as he got up. He put on his shinigami robe and put on his haori.. He walked into the kitchen and looked around."Good no one is up just yet" he thought to himself as he slid the kitchen door close. He then went into the cupboard and got a bowl , then into the fridge to get the milk. He then went into his robe "No one can find out about this." he says as he pulls out a cereal box .It turns out it was a box of Honey Nut Espada-O's with Ulquiorra on the box. He begins pouring it into the bowl and starts singing the jingle to himself. " You better not say no, or you'll turn emo, so eat our Honey Nut Espada O's"

Byakuya then pours in the milk , and gets a spoon. He begins eating with a cheerful face, " I know I shouldn't eat this but they taste so good..."

"I know right!?" a voice says inside the klitchen.

Byakuya spits a wide spray of milk and chewed cereal. He looks around in surprise then sees Yachiru also making a bowl of his cereal. "What the hell are you doing here? How did you get in?" he aks wiping his mouth.

"Just woke up from a sleepover with Rukia." She replies. Byakuya then grabs the cereal from her hand.

"These are mine and the least you can do is ask for some."

"So can I have some Stuck Up?"

"NO! And my name isn't Stuck up its Byakuya Kuchiki."

"B...but they are so good...please Byakuya ?..." she said as her face looked sad with slight tears in her eyes.

Byakuya closes his eyes and sighs, placing his spoon in the bowl for another bite. "Fine you may have some.." he said reluctantly .

"yay thank you Stuck Up" she says cheerfully with sparkling eyes. Byakuya sighs slightly deeper then takes a nother spoonfull of breakfast.

"So Stuck Up, Where do you find this brand of cereal anyway?" she asks as she makes herself a bowl.

" I...have my sources..." he then has a flashback with Ichigo and him in a back alley in the human world. They both wear long dark trench coats, as they look around to make sure they aren't seen. He pays Ichigo the money and then Ichigo opens his trench coat and pulls out the cereal. He gives it to Byakuya and walks away, as Byakuya puts the ceral in his coat and the flashback ends.

"Yachiru just don't tell anyone I have this got it? "

"Why not?" she asks

"Because...." he replies

"Don't worry I won't tell anyone you eat Ulquiorra's cereal .Fact is I like this cereal too, I get it from Ichi all the time."

Byakuya looks over to Yachiru "really? How much does it cost you per box?"

she looks up trhinking "About 300 yen"

"What?! I pay 10,000 " he shouts loudly with a suprised and annoyed look. "Damn you Kurosaki!" he shouts even louder.

-----------back at Ichigo's house----------

Ichigo counts his money with a smile in his room. Just then Ulquiorra comes through his window with a cardboard box box with more Espada O's. Ulquiorra looks at teh money. "Tell me how do you make so much money off of these?" Ulquiorra asks.

"Good business skills" he says smiling. Ichigo's cell phone rings, he then pulls it out of his pocket. he looks at it to see who's calling. Ichigo smirks as he sees its a text message.

"What is it?" Ulquiorra asks.

"Well my biggest client wants a whole box shipment, and is willing to pay 100,000 yen." Ichigo replies as he puts down the cell phone on his table.

"But a shipment box doesn't cost that much?"

" I know that. This is what I call good business " Ichigo says with a more amused smirk. It turns out Renji sent the text message.


	5. Chapter 5

It was just a normal day in Soul Society. Yachiru was relaxing in the 11th Squad's barracks as someone approached her from behind. She looks back as she is eating a Popsicle. she stares up and realizes its Captain Kurotsuchi.

"Hey Clown Man! Whats up?" she asks smiling as she sucks on the Popsicle.

"I told you to stop calling me that!" he shouts scolding her. "At least call me Captain you brat." Yachiru simply turns around looking at the other shinigami training. "Are you even listening?" He asks

"No" She replies "You know....your not funny for being a clown and all." she comments making Kurotsuchi more upset, to the point he grinds his teeth.

"Well anyway, since Nemu is away on an eron , I need a guinea pi......I mean an assistant for one of my experiments." Kurotsuchi says as he tries to maintains his cool. "I was wondering if, you would like to be that assistant." he says smiling wide_."Yes cause in this experiment I can get payback for your insolence"_ he thinks to himself.

"Hmmm...no thank you." Yachiru replies

"You will accept my offer?! Splendid child! Lets hurry we don't have time to waste." He said as he grabbed Yachiru's arm ,and drags her away as if she was paper in the wind , to the Science Bereau Head Quarters.

"But I said no" Yachiru protested flailing her arms up and down in the air.

"Nonsense, I heard you say OK and thats that."

---------Science Bereau Head Quarters----------

Yachiru is seen in a small chamber surrounded by glass . She looks on pressing the glass with her hands. "Is this gonna be fun?" she asks Kurotsuchi.

Why yes it will, tons of fun." he replies. "_Well for me anyway _" He thinks to himself as he does a sly smirk. "Let me explain the experiment. I have lots of blood samples of various people. I'm trying to figure out if I can give a shinigami a boost of power by combining their DNA with someone elses. Its rather fascinating if you think about it don't you think.? The endless possibilities if i succeed." He looks over to Yachiru and she is sleeping while standing in the chamber snoring.

"ZZZZZ...Phew.....ZZZZZ...Phew" can be heard from her as a large bubble comes out of her nose as she sleeps.

"Wake up damn it!" he yells loudly waking her quickly. "We are possibly on the path to great discovery, now where are those samples?" He looks around for the samples and finds them. However he discovers they are not labeled. "Idiots! They didn't label the samples.....Oh well i will just figure it out as I go." Kurotsuchi said as he flipped the switch and turned the machine on. he places the first sample in and smoke begins filling the chamber.

"Clown man its getting cloudy." Yachiru says as she begins coughing.

"Everything is fine , its supposed to do that I think." he replies as the smoke fills the chamber completely. soon the chamber glass slides up and the smoke escapes. Kurotsuchi looks on in anticipation. "Did it work?" he asks

"Not sure Clown man. " she replies as the smoke fully dissipates. Yachiru now has Yourichi's body type, but with a few differences. Like the hair was still pink and she still retained her voice and eyes. She looks down at herself in amazement, as her eyes sparkles with stars in them as she looks in a mirror. " I have boobies! Yay!" she shouts as she grabs them and jiggles her breasts in her hands "They are so soft and squishy" she comments.

"Stop that and get back in there" Kurotsuchi says palming his face. Yachiru nods and gets back in the chamber still juggling her chest. "Obviously that was Yoruichi's sample. You also seemed to have retained her perverted characteristic as well." The glass slides back down over the chamber, and he inserts another sample into the machine. The smoke fills up the chamber again.

"Is this gonna happen all the time?....ack..... ack" Yachiru barely asks as she starts coughing.

"Yeah probably , now stop complaining" he says grinning wide pleased with the first test. It opens again and Yachiru steps out. This time she has taken the appearance of Rukia with pink hair. Yachiru she looks at herself.

"Aw I'm flat again"

"Oh brother....." Kurotsuchi says then sighs. "Now then lets continue "

--------1 hour later---------------

Yachiru can been seen as smoke fill the chamber that she took the appearance of Head -Captain Yammamoto with a pink beard. "Wow so thats what it feels like to be a really really old man." she comments " I was all cranky and full of gas." she said giggling

"I reckon so now only 3 samples left." Kurotsuchi replies as he inserts another sample , but his elbow hits the tray and knocks the other two samples in with it. The machine begins to burn at certain areas and then the chamber explodes. Kurotsuchi looks on as he sees lots of smoke cause by the explosion. He soon sees a figure through the smoke. he coughs as the smoke catches up to him and he covers his mouth.

Ack ...Yachiru?....what has happened?" he asks. Suddenly he hears a male voice he wasn't expecting . It was that of Aizen's. "This can't be Aizen here? Impossible!" he shouts as he soon hears the voice again.

Aizen?!.... who are you calling Aizen Clown man?" The smoke cleared and Kurotsuchi couldn't believe his eyes at what he saw. It was Yachiru...however her appearance took him by surprise. She had Rangiku's body , Aizen's face and voice and Unohana's hair style but pink. "This isn't fun, I feel all weird! Change me back Clown man " She yells loudly in protest in Aizen's voice.

"Change you back ? Now why would I do that? Your a scientific don't you know that!"

"If you don't change me back, I will tell Kenny and he will kick your ass." she says flailing her arms again.

"Oh I would like to see him....."and that when it hits Kurotsuchi. If Kenpachi was to come there countless experiments would be ruined due to the destruction. "OK OK give me a few hours to fix the machine" he says sighing. "This experiment proved we can change DNA but it didn't increase reiatsu any. This was a failure after all." he muttered to himself. as he began fixing the machine. Eventually it was fixed and Yachiru was back to normal ......mostly......

-------------------later at Byakuya's Manor-------------

Yachiru is then seen jiggling Rangiku sized breasts on her body in Rukia's room. "Jiggle jiggle" Yachiru says as she plays with them happily. Rukia squints her eyes as she looks at Yachiru with one eye twitching.

_"Now that not fair" _Rukia thinks to herself

(**I have decided since this story is such a success that I will update it every 1-2 weeks. I hope you guys will keep reading And thanks for reading as well**)


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